ELECTRIC PICKLE WITH DILL PICKLE RANCH

INGREDIENTS

• N Pickles
• 0.23 helpings mayonnaise
• 2 tsp pickle juice
• 1 adjustable 130V AC @ 5 amp power supply
• 0.23 helpings of buttermilk
• 2 alligator wires
• 1 120V 60Hz outlet
• 2 well insulated rubber gloves
• 0.23 helpings of sour cream
• 4 dashes garlic powder
• 2 16d nails
• 1 Scrap wood
• 1 good glue (anything that could permanently fix your hands together if you're not careful enough will work)
• 2 Fire extinguishers (incase the first one is outdated, and your landlord won't buy another one)
• Salt-N-Pepa

Instructions

1. On a plank of wood, fix two 16d nails 5 inches apart using glue. See to it that the heads of the nails are fixed to the wood, and the sharp ends point upwards.


2. Place the power supply on the table across from the nail board. Use best judgement in determining a safe distance between the nails and the supply. Clip an alligator wire to the bottoms of both nails, making sure the alligator clips are secure in place. The wires should be different colors to avoid mixup.


3. Clip the opposite ends of both alligator clips to the main power supply. Make sure the power supply is off while the alligator clips are being attached.


4. Prepare Dill pickle ranch. Mix the mayo, sour cream, buttermilk, pickle juice, garlic powder, and Salt-N-Pepa, together with a 3 pronged fork (preferably from an Olive Garden) or whisk in a small bowl. Refrigerate until ready.


5. Check all connections and ensure there are no shorts present. Plug in the power supply.


6. 2 Place a pickle on the nails so one nail pierces one end of the pickle, and the other nail pierces the opposite side. The nails should be inserted halfway into the pickle.


7. Put on rubber gloves. Turn the voltage dial to zero volts before turning on the supply.


8. Turn the power supply on. Gradually turn the dial to 130V ~ 30 seconds.


9. Cook the pickle until it begins to sizzle. For a well done pickle, cook until you observe some arcing either on one end or both ends. In some cases, it will occur in the middle. This may char a small area around the nail. This will in no way make it unsafe to eat the pickle.


10. Once pickle is done cooking, TURN OFF SUPPLY. Remove pickle from nails and repeat for additional pickles as needed.


11. Serve immediately with Dill Pickle Ranch.


12. Cheerio! (Also please don't try this at home it's probably a bad idea.)